Here's a piece from a new contributor you might enjoy...

You always hear stories about how we, us underhanded, dirty, scheming, horny perverts, ply the innocent virgin ladies with alcohol, in diabolically underhanded schemes to get them drunk enough to sleep with us. I've always scoffed at such notions. Hunters don't go around drugging dead antelope and tossing them about for lions to eat, shooting the poor bastards as they lie comatose. Its boring, unsatisfying, and poor sportsmanship.

On Friday however, I learnt different.

Santika is the place to be in Bangkok on a Friday night. At least if you're young and like having a decent time. Sadly, I've yet to find a decent place to dance here; the Thais must not understand the fascination of just grinding mindlessly, and making out on the dance floor is a rather foreign concept. The music isn't bad, and I've even managed to stop myself grinning every time the token white guy takes the stage with the Thais. To his credit, he's not bad and bears a superficial resemblance to an older, less skinny Eminem.

While I like the music at Santika, the crowd is a bit hit and miss. Friday was definitely a miss. The company wasn't bad, my driver Nod is a good friend, a decent wingman, and holds his alcohol well. Usually you can pick out one or two babes to flash a grin at before you reach your table, but that night I was struggling and feeling hungry like being in a restaurant serving food you don't really fancy. Eventually I gave up and started the drinking games, a sign that my goals had shifted from picking up to just getting smashed and maybe trying out a few dance moves.

After receiving a dirty look or two from the guy standing next to us for repeatedly standing on his toes, I decided my heel toe was definitely moving from the realm of passable to public nuisance, and it had better stay under wraps until I'd had some time to practice again. Resigning myself to a night of swaying and foot tapping, I just sat back to chill.

Not my night apparently, because we were somehow chatted up by a pair of girls from the next table. It gave me insight to how girls feel when guys just invite themselves over to their tables. Normally I wouldn't have complained, had they been attractive...

Unfortunately, while one was a passable 7, the other will remain unrated, due to my New Year's resolution to refrain from being an asshole and accumulating bad karma. Let's just say I wouldn't, single, drunk or otherwise.

The 7 took a liking to Nod, the lucky bastard. Obviously there was only one other possible outcome. I willed a smile onto my face and engaged her friend in conversation. Actually conversation is too much, it was more like an exchange of bad Thai and gestures, with me managing to look interested. Suddenly, she tries to dance with me. I pride myself in being a decent dancer but with dancing, a lot of it is motivation really. And when I really don't want to, even feigning enthusiasm is near impossible. What happens in the next few moments would not be inaccurately described as my impression of Pinochio with his joints superglued.

I returned to drinking after a bit, hoping to get a bit of respite after she moved to speak with her friend. No go. She sees me drinking, and immediately tries to coerce me into skulling more booze. Don't get me wrong. Give me a hot girl who wants to get drunk, and I'll take my liver for a ride, but again, if you're not, I see no upside for me to risk cirrhosis. And I get the impression she was really plying me with the johnnie in an attempt to get me to put on the beer goggles. Not so easy. I'm a prize drinker, which doesn't just entail being able to hold your own, but when to duck and weave. I duck and weave.

Still, she plies me with alcohol. I resist. She does what she must imagine to be her idea of flirting and temptation. God help me, I ran for the bathroom, and took the longest slash in my life.

Fortunately, clubs in Bangkok close strangely early. No more 6am all-nighters for me. I'm not that young anymore anyhow. I thought I'd finally managed to extricate myself from the rather forgettable situation. Sadly, the night was not yet over...

to be continued.

Social Commentary

Well life is changing...both for me personally and the neighborhood around me. I'm finding myself more and more heading back into the jungle of expats around the Sukhumvit and Silom bar area. Perhaps this is because I am recently single and my body is recalibrating to deal with the dry spell of love. Then again it could be the constant churn of clubs in my neighborhood that's driving me to drink from a different pond.

The entire complex of bars off Ekamai Soi 5 (Thonglor Soi 10) has now been demolished to make way for yet another elite lifestyle condo. This brings the latest count to well over a dozen new condo developments on Ekamai alone and with it, slow moving traffic like fat camp on buffet day. This used to be pretty focused to rush hour with the standard pool of taxis outside Nang Len. Now however with Curve and Jet Metropolitan in full swing you have a better chance of getting gonorrhea from a day old snack pack of KFC than crossing the road.

Another mega club called Muse has opened on Ekamai Soi 5 to join ranks with Bamblu which is just a hundred meters down the road. On the flip side In Da Club has finally changed it's name to Not In Da Club and closed it's doors. Now instead of running a gauntlet of smokers and vomiters to get to my apartment I only have to navigate the nuggets of goodness the soi dogs leave behind and the occasional used condom.

* Please note that although most material today is in some way recyclable, this does not include used latex or my witty insight :P

With all these new bars it seems like the ET Zone is driving out the farang friendly nature that was once the drawing card to the area. In its place is a plethora (I love this word) of Thai venues that provide an increasingly hostile environment for traditional clubbers like me. I don't mean anyone is going to nunchuk your ass just to steal 50 baht and a used AIS card but it would definitely make most farangs uncomfortable. It's kinda like having gas on a first date...it doesn't stop you from going but you might need to sneak out every now and then to let off some steam.

Last Tuesday I walked into Jet around 9 to find it already packed. Immediately every head in the joint turned to look at me. I can only assume this was attributable to the handsome fedora and chestnut highlights I was sporting but more likely it was the fact that the only white that can be seen in Jet on a regular basis is on the walls. I stayed for one beer and payed a whopping 220 baht. For the locals perhaps the impression is that the clubs around here are elite and therefore prices that make a mexican druglord squirm are embraced as bragging rights that demonstrate the buyer has little regard for reason, money or future. For me I've always calibrated the clubs here a notch lower than the international ones around Sukhumvit and therefore expect to pay around 100-150 baht per round.

This same pricing mentality holds across pretty much all the clubs in the area including Blog 9, Curve, Jet, Muse, Nang Len and even Santika although the latter still caters to a better mix of patrons.

Long story short I do find myself going back to the old haunts of Santika and Witch's Tavern but usually those choices are purely of convenience since I can walk to both. For a more solid night out however I'll be heading back to my roots around Sukhumvit and Silom which is where most farangs cut their teeth and will feel more at home (that is if your home has smokin' hotties, wicked tunes and a mind-numbing supply of sex workers and airheads driving daddy's car).

With the changing of the guards Mikey is looking for more opportunities to head out. The last battalion of wingmen is virtually wiped out (or maybe I spelled that wrong and it's actually whipped...sorry guys). Therefore please feel free to keep me abreast of your movements should they involve inebriation, sexual innuendo or an abundance of the female variety. You can reach me at mike@mikesbarguide.com.

Looking forward to partying with you!

Mike

Rediscovering a Hidden Oasis

Ekamai Thonglor is full of interesting things.  If it's not the vomit trail leading away from Nang Len it's how quickly bars come and go like a girl at Nana or how cops insist on manually directing traffic while standing directly below a perfectly good set of lights.  I'm about to add one more to the list.

Previously I had been to Ana Garden several times, usually to eat, but occasionally to have a drink at Groove Kitchen.  Not giving it much thought for months I decided to revisit it on the weekend and was pleasantly surprised.  The main reason I went was to show my friend how much potential the place had.  Expecting to have a quick cocktail and leave, we instead ended up staying late into the night.

First off Groove Kitchen is all high end.  The interior, while not huge, is very comfortable with high ceilings.  Sparse seating means you don't get the same bottle crowd that other places in the ET strip attract.  For me this means people get to mingle more giving the club an energetic feel which is further enhanced by a couple of coyote dancers.

Tunes are a combination of house, electronic, techno and drum and bass spun by a solid line-up of DJs.  An assortment of latin percussion is also available a la Tapas and is played by staff or reasonably competent patrons.  Word to the wise, this sort of ad-hoc drumming usually annoys the crap out of real musicians so make sure you can keep a beat before you pick up the sticks.

Groove Kitchen has been around for a long time and has always appealed to me but now more emphasis has been placed on the one previously missing element...a consistent crowd.  New promo and theme nights as well as amazing hospitality are drawing more and more to this hidden gem behind Ana Garden which serves up great cocktails, tight tunes and a vibe reminiscent of greats like Tapas, Glow, Q and Bed.

It may not be for the mainstream Thai crowd but for those affluent enough to appreciate something besides the same top 40 Thai songs belted out by drunk teenagers over whiskey then this is the place to be. I can definitely say I'll be back and recommending it to my friends.

Located behind Ana Garden on Thonglor between Soi 1 and 3, walk into the restaurant and through the garden path to experience the groove.

Changing of the Guard

It's been far too long since my last post and there have been significant changes in the neighborhood.  First of all the old complex of bars off Thonglor Soi 10 (aka Ekamai Soi 5) is dead.  However the good news is that the new Jet Metropolitan is now open and is a huge improvement consisting of a full wine bar called Mist as well as a typical Thai mega-club stuffed with pretentious teens and all too familiar live Thai music.

The old Ichi bar between Ekamai Soi 12 and 14 (directly across from Nang Len) has now been renamed and reworked into In Da Club.  Unfortunately it still attracts the same audience it had previously consisting of a handful of misdirected clubbers, the standard door whores (you know the hotties that stand outside the bar making you think you're at a happening place) and the occasional soi dog.

Now on Ekamai Soi 5, Bam Blu has opened in an entirely new building.  The fixtures are nice and no expense has been spared except for the cheap tables and chairs that make you feel like you're in a cheerful prison cafeteria.  The live music is good with western songs performed very well thanks in part to the latest Bose sound system.

Escudo, between Thonglor Soi 13 and 15, has collapsed into a single floor venue.  Apparently the year off for renovation work that resulted in a new coat of paint and  a stupidly deadly dance floor failed to re-ignite the club's former glory.  Duh!  Now only the upper level is open and has taken on more of a techno club which is exactly what was needed in the first place.

The entire Liberty House complex of bars at the top of Thonglor has pulled an Elvis and left the building.  No loss here as these venues all had an old seedy feeling reminiscent of Nana, smelling of mothballs, urine and vomit.

Directly across the big Boss club has changed names to Soi Sod but retains the run-down feel with well worn carpeting, outrageously priced drinks, and a mandatory service charge that is more than the beverages.

Nang Wak has opened right on the corner of Thonglor and Soi 10 in the same complex as True.  The venue looks more upper class and stylish and should be frequented by the many new ET condo owners all within a stone-throw away.

Paradox near Ekamai Soi 19 has failed to find a tenant and is now sitting empty with nothing but a small art museum and mediterranean restaurant.  Very unfortunate considering that this facility is the nicest looking on the upper end of Ekamai.

Sky Beach has been very active on the social networking scene sending annoying invites to numerous events but maintains an otherwise low profile.  The type of flip-flop wearing, fire throwers that this place appeals to don't have the coin to make it back from the islands in the first place and the high society of ET is not impressed with drinking buckets of Red Bull.  Now add a little chair for Fido and watch all the girls in little dresses tempt fate climbing the 4 flights of crazy stairs while wearing sunglasses.

Santika and Blog 9 have been able to maintain a strong presence amid all the construction and are still a more relaxed choice for farang.  Meanwhile the new Jet International and Curve are just feeding the insatiable demand for more Thai venues in the area.

Given the momentum of the ET zone it still amazes me that no one has tried to introduce a real clubbing venue like those on Sukhumvit Soi 11 (Bed Supper Club, Q Bar).  Keep the Thai music out, introduce new DJs to the scene, and cap the numbers at something more like a Greek wedding. Oh, and burn those freakin' little mushroom seats.  They aren't comfortable and they make for a very anti-social atmosphere with customers unable to move around and mingle.

The ET Zone is starting to look like the MBK of bars...plenty of locations but with little to distinguish them from one another.  No wonder the scenery changes so fast.

Welcoming the Newcomers

Activity around Ekamai these days is like last call at Nana Disco. It seems new buildings are going up the full length of the street. In the very near future Ekamai will be home to the first "lifestyle" shopping destination in the area as well as a huge mall catering to healthcare products and a much larger and improved Major Cineplex. From a nightlife perspective we've just recently witnessed newcomers Curve and Ichi. The former welcoming a strong crowd all week and the latter clearly starting to pick up momentum.

So what's missing? For me Ekamai still doesn't cater to the higher end of the market. Curve will soon open a second zone which will be positioning itself as a wine bar but given the "local" patrons that fill zone 1 to bursting it remains to be seen if higher end clientele will embrace it. The area clearly struggles with gaining any international club feel and like a frat boy has resigned itself to the "cheap and easy" philosophy of quantity over quality.

Luckily there are a couple of new options available that hold some promise. The first is a wine and cocktail bar further down Ekamai called Paradox. The building looks very sexy and will add some high-end class to the neglected end of the street. Further down and on the opposite side, Sky Beach offers a unique rooftop experience and entertains a relaxed and fun crowd. Getting there requires a death-defying climb up a 5 storey fire escape but the oasis at the top makes it worthwhile.

If you're looking for something that deviates even further head down Ekamai Soi 10 and have a drink at Happy Monday. This venue claims to play alternative but actually uses the term in it's literal meaning as in the music is an alternative to the rest of the area. The tunes are great and side on electronic with various DJs throughout the week. The place has great potential but I'd personally like to see them ditch the cheap-ass cafeteria style tables and put in some decent furnishings. Hopefully this place won't succum to the pressures of the low-end crowd normally found in the area which demand loud and abnoxious Thai music.

For some real high-end action like a street walker in in Miami grab a quick taxi to Thonglor Town Center which has now expanded to include several new restaurants as well as Wine Loft which has both indoor seating and an outdoor area called, appropriately, Wine Garden.

It's pretty clear that with all the money being flashed around Ekamai these days we'll see even more changes in 2008. There's already activity around the old Cream location and a new location for Jet Metropolitan is underway. Now is the time to lock in your rental agreement and set some roots as this area is bound to skyrocket in price and maybe even give Thonglor a run for its money. Maybe even the Irish will take notice and bless us with a taste of fine ale!